in the midst of it all

it has been QUITE awhile, since day one. a lot has changed. some things have remained the same. but in the midst of it all...im still able to live in these moments. i viewed my daughters progress report today and was extremely proud of what she has done so far...an A, two B's and a C. before i could say it, she said, "mom, i gotta raise that C." i am glad to have the oppurtunity to mother such wonderful children. even when things werent picture perfect, i cant imagine NOT being their mother. they give me such joy and provide soooooooo much motivation to strive for my dreams. i have some pretty neat children, i must say that.

that was just one of the many jewels i learned today: be glad for what you have. take more time in building up, versus, tearing down. love who are. respect who you arent. seek who you want to be.

it can be done...one step at a time.

day one

everyone these days say that they "keep it 100" or "keep it real". the number 100 has always symbolized completion, but how can one keep it 100, if they aren't completely confident in themselves? how can someone be the "real deal" if they put up facades that mask their pain?

in life, people grow and mature, often times at different paces. some say that once they turned 30 the "light" came on and they saw things in a different aspect. well for me, my light was more like an interrogation light versus a 60 watt bulb. :) things that once consumed my time and attention, didn't seem all that important. people who i gravitated to, somehow lost their magnetism. one day i woke up and actually "WOKE UP". i felt liberated and trapped all at the same time. i felt i had the power to save the world, but possessed the fear of my own greatness all at once. and it felt great! for the first time in a longggg time i allowed myself to be...myself! i embraced all my faults, imperfections and mistakes and accepted the fact that THESE things are what make me who i am. and i love it! i love who i am. i love who i am not. i am okay with the fact that i still have more lessons to learn on this journey. but the beauty of it all is IN the learning.

this is where i knew i could make that journey to define who karen is. this is where i took that first step to reach one hundred.